Big News

I'm going back to work!! Yes, out of nowhere I accepted a half-time job share position at my previous employer, in the same department, working with many of the same awesome people. My job share partner is someone I met at the company about 10 years ago and she and I were fast friends and she will be so great to share the job with. I will be working two and half consecutive days a week and I am thrilled. It's perfect. So perfect, that I know it was meant to be.

I was not even contemplating going back to work. My subconscious was, though. A few weeks before I was contacted about this job, I had a dream that I went back to work at the same company and had a fanfare type welcome. The President even pulled me aside on my first day to find out why I had stayed home for four years and to find out if there was anything he could do to make my new job there better. I woke up grinning. It was surreal. It was so 'real' and impacting, I even told my close friends that evening.

I truly missed working. I packed it away though, into the corner of my brain that knew that some day (when my kids were in elementary) I would be able to go back to work and reclaim some of myself that I left there. I felt guilty thinking about going back to work when they were young if I didn't have to. Like I was choosing myself over them. I don't have to work. But I'm going to, and I have no regrets (yet!). I already feel giddy thinking about rediscovering some of myself that I left behind when I became a mother, and believe it will make me a better mother.

I loved my job. I loved the people I worked with. It was close to my dream job. I was a project manager and Iworked in an office close to our home, but I traveled a few times a year to developing countries mostly in Africa, meeting staff who did incredible holistic community development work to make lives better for the poor. They literally changed whole communities. It was inspiring in a way that is hard to describe unless you see it. It's an organization that I can throw my whole weight into knowing that I am passionate about the work in my core. It's so much more than a paycheck for me. It's more of a calling. I know that sounds kind of radical, but truly, I feel like I've been called to this kind of work through various events and experiences in my life that led me there.

When we brought Ashen home, I knew I wanted to stay home with him for a good chunk of time, and then I told my boss that I'd be willing to come back if he could offer me something part-time. Nope. The company was not flexible four years ago and job shares were unheard of and part-time just as much. It's not much more common now. There is only one other job-share in the whole office (of 800-1000 people) and a few more part-timers. So, it was definitely an opportunity not to pass up.

I was worried about how going back to work would affect our family, and our lifestyle and especially my kids. Who would I leave them with? Could I afford to hire someone? Can I trust someone who I don't know? How do I even find a nanny? I felt in my gut that if this was something I felt called to do, that the details would work themselves out. I didn't have to stress about it. My in-laws graciously agreed to watch the kids one day. They are troupers. We are so blessed by them. For the other day and a half I had no idea where to start. Long story short, my good friend Cami's nanny agreed to watch our kids for the day and a half I'll work. She has worked part-time for Cami as her nanny for five years and Cami's work days happen to be different days than I needed her for. Truly a miracle. I am so comfortable with our nanny and trust that she'll do such a great job with my kids. I know this will be a good growing experience for my kids too as they learn to branch out a bit from mama. I expect that I will have more energy to be with them too on the 4.5 days that I will be home with them.

Did I say I'm excited? The pieces have come together in a way that I could never have predicted one month ago. In fact, I don't even think it's been a month since my boss first contacted me. I love it when our plans don't work out...

I start next Monday.