I have not been blogging much lately, because frankly, I've been caught up in a whirlwind of emotional waves. The transition from two to three kids has been tumultuous for us. We are still in the thick of transition. Though I felt free and 'better' after a few weeks home, the difficulty of caring for three very young kids gets the best of me each day. Bonding with a new baby can also take time--we are still getting to know our our beautiful little spirited girl. It is taking all of us to keep things going around here. I continue to get lots of encouragement and support from friends and family, my faith, and some times professionals. It is priceless to have resources to draw upon at times like these--I really could not do this alone. Mark has been a stellar companion and partner through all of the changes. I think this is the toughest few months I've ever experienced. I don't even think my year alone in Kenya compares to this, which I would have said was my most challenging (and enriching/rewarding) experience up until now.
People keep telling me that it gets easier and better--often around 6 months home, which I really need to hear. For now, that is what I'm putting my weight down on. I need to believe that because at the moment it feels like it will be difficult forever. I really want to feel comfortable and normal again. I am working hard at having a new perspective and thinking positively (something that used to come very effortlessly for me). It is too easy to let negative thoughts spiral into "what-ifs" that likely aren't reality.
Hope to have some 'lighter' posts coming soon--Bereket's crawling and I'd love for all of you to see her personality on video!
9 comments:
Been thinking of you often! I feel overwhelmed by transitioning with one. I can't imagine three. Thanks for being so candid.
If you ever want someone to bat around 'overwhelmed' stories with, I'm your gal! Adjusting to two hasn't been sooo hard but doing it while also trying to grieve the loss of my dad has made it MUCH tougher. I'm realizing that life may just keep getting messier, the older you get. Either that, or I just happen to be having a really insane year. Could be that too:-)
Sarah, I have no words of advise or comfort in this situation, but I am sending you love and prayers.
Sarah,
I can really relate to this post, and I think you put good words to it - better than I have. It is sometimes hard to articulate exactly what about it all is hard. And you're right, amidst all the hard stuff there is so much that is rewarding and joyful. It would be nice to be closer in location to everyone, because I think we can all relate to those "waves" in one way or another!
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. People need to know that the arrival home is not always a cakewalk. And some need to know they are not alone in what they are feeling. I really appreciate your willingness to be honest and your hope and faith are inspiring :)
((hugs))
Thinking of you Sarah....will call when we get home. Hang in there with everything. Lots of hugs to you. Love,
Cami
you're a great mom. you are. and i love you.
Sarah-
I just want you to know that I am where you are, you are not alone. I totally understand all that you described in this post and can relate to all the feelings and struggles you mentioned. If you need to talk, or just to vent (which is usually what I need!) feel free to email me. imthepunkprincess@hotmail.com
Post a Comment